Kimchi Carbonara (NEW!) $20

Chicken, crispy bacon bits, kimchi, and garlic sautéed in a egg based (no cream) carbonara sauce with this week’s pasta topped with parmesan cheese. A new spin on carbonara to make you feel like you’re somewhere else! Locked in a basement with fermenting cabbage, the subtle smell of bacon coats the musty air through the floorboards as your captor “Ned” cooks his breakfast all the while yelling at the feral cat outside to “find Jesus”. Ned, you see, is convinced the innocent feline is not one but, in fact, Legion (as the good book tells him). You hear the creaks in the floor above you as you begin to hallucinate that your arm has actually become a part of that radiator you’ve been chained to for what seems like an eternity. Cold steel, like the winter days, once loathed, that you now would give anything to shiver in once more. Hours into days into weeks into months into nothingness. Time is meaningless now, endless and black, everywhere and nowhere, all at once. You’re going to die here. You know and accept it in your heart like Ned the gospel. You tell yourself that if you meet Ned’s God in the great beyond, Satan will have company. There will be a second fallen angel because, God dammit, there’s hell to pay, Ned... Anyway, enjoy your pasta, you’ll need your strength.

The Hot Angry $20

Sautéed chicken, spicy chorizo sausage, onions, garlic, and this week’s pasta tossed with tomato sauce and topped with green onions. Another name we considered was the Hot Huffy. I had a hot huffy when I was a kid. It was red, had shocks, and was the coolest bicycle in the world. Weeks later, the sun faded the color of that bike from red to pink. I didn’t own another bicycle until my mid-thirties. Hey Sun, thanks for ruining Grade 6!

Classic Carbonara $20

Chicken, bacon, onions, mushrooms, and garlic sautéed with this week’s pasta and topped with parmesan and green onions. Not to be confused with Carbonite, in which Han Solo was encased when his bounty was claimed by Boba Fett. This tastes better AND is easier to haul. Am I right, Stormtroopers? Please don’t sue me for mentioning Star Wars, Disney.

Pesto Cream Primavera $20

This week’s pasta served in a creamy pesto cream sauce with onions, garlic, tomatoes, carrots, mushrooms, and zucchini, and topped with grilled asparagus. Not to be confused with your pale and stuck-up friend, "affectionately" nicknamed "The Pesto Cream Prima Donna".

The Gumbo $20 * Now Served on Rice! *

Sautéed shrimp, chorizo sausage, chicken, onions, garlic, and celery in a spicy tomato sauce topped with green onions. Tell that special person that you're dining with tonight, "I hope it's cool if I get gassy later". If they stay, put a ring on it (their finger, pervert).

Vegan Coconut Curry - $18 * On Rice *

Jasmine Rice served with house-made coconut curry sauce, mushroom, onions, garlic, green beans, squash & smoked peach slaw, pickled red onions. Sure, this salad is vegan, but I regret to inform you… That chair you are sitting on? Yup, it’s made of 100% puppy dog hearts. What kind of puppy dog? Think of the cutest one you can, it’s that one. We don’t skimp on comfort here and if that’s what it takes, we’ll do it… For you. Enjoy your meal, comfortably… On a throne of puppy dog hearts.